That feeling you have when it feels like you’ve slept for less than 5 minutes and you’re waking up at 5:30 in the morning? yeah, have that now.
Here’s how to achieve this lovely state of consciousness:
Starting Monday, wake up at 5:30, sleep in for 15 minutes because you did [nearly] all this last week, run to look for spare change because sleeping in lost time needed for making lunch, eat breakfast in car, go play squash till 8:30/9 (Note* hit the ball hard, because they don’t bounce! YAY! proceed to wish you were playing with an iron frying pan)
Proceed to school – Stairs are involved and must be walked up and down repeatedly while carrying a 10+ pound deadweight, remember to look good! 😀
Rugby Practice till 5 (Note* some people like to walk in drills while they think the coaches aren’t watching. Do not be one of these people, the coaches are watching. Repeat drill because of slackers)
Eat dinner while icing ankle
Shower then Braid hair (While your arms are burning from being above you’re head for an hour just think how awesomely strong your arms will be!)
Do math while your brain slowly loses power
Make bus (First time this month, Feel PROUD!)
School – see monday
Rugby – teach new players! (*<–highlight of day, do not read as sarcasm) after practice catch a glimpse of yourself in a reflective surface, scare self. Make a note to find hairstyle that does not involve sharp metal objects to attain non hobo style.
Forget that [important] homework is due friday while you feel good about yourself being able to answer the wheel of fortune questions before they add non given letters
Watch jeopardy, feel marginally less smart
See monday until rugby (skid on non varnished wood floor while trying to hit ball in squash, miss)
Rugby – outside, run through snow banks, feel proud that you dressed well for the weather
Midnight – remember you promised to bake cupcakes on thursday back in february and have been planning said expenditure since
remember important homework due friday
remember that you have blogged once this month
forget above when asleep
Sleep in till… Just Kidding you are on auto wakeup and it is 6 o’clock try as you might you are not falling back asleep no matter how long you lay there
8:30 have decided to stay in bed until room temperature rises above 15 c and the polar unit have gone to work, since it is now 20ish c it is time to eat and etc.
time getting ready perfectly so that you will be ready to go at 10:30
Friend comes at 10:20, make friend wait until you are ready (at 10:40)
continue making bad prioritizing decision
go grocery shopping for supplies/ bake and decorate cupcakes until you have to work
work till 8
come home and remember homework that you remembered last night
Work on blog… fear for life, shove stuff to weekend. Read horoscope – plan to feel like figure 1 on friday…. maybe more like saturday
Get ready for bed at 10:30 as past experience has told you that you do not function properly when having to wake up at 6 if you go to bed at 12 or later, you know that bruises ensue because of lack of foot coordination. Feel proud for taking precaution.
Friday* Subject to change
wake up at 6, eat, pack etc.
miss bus/ Make bus = 80/20 chance respectively
feel glad parents like you enough that they don’t make you walk, like cold for same reason
feel guilt for not completing annotated bibliography for english, try to remember what essay you are writing is on as you watch presentations, May have to sit through possible lecture
feel guilt for not completing children’s story, feel a little better after remembering you blogged
feel good that you completed french homework, try to remember how to speak french
… challenge and change hope for a movie
get home at 3:20, work at 3:30, end at six, dinner
friends come over, teach rugby and watch movie, talk a lot.
work on homework that was due today/shower/braid
look forward to sleeping in tomorrow
remember that you are waking up at 4-6 to go to grandma’s and maple syrup festival. Plan on sleeping in car, hope you don’t see anyone you only sort of know there as you feel like slothing and speaking as little as possible, limit words to grunts.